Choose Life - Evangelion, the Guardian Angel and a Semicolon

 

CW: self harm, mental health, food control issues

Spoiler Warning: Trigun (it’s honestly too old to need a spoiler warning…)

When I was in High School, I fell in love with the movie Trainspotting. I did a project in Senior Year Psych class which I illustrated mostly with shots from the film. I've seen it countless times, and just last week I screened it for a friend who'd never seen it before. I considered at the time how I should have waited until today. 

Since 2007, I've called April 18th “Choose Life” day. It started with a friend's suggestion to throw a party to commemorate the anniversary of the previous April 18th. Since then, I've stopped doing much social to celebrate, but over the years I've done a ton of things on April 18ths. While this is the 18th anniversary of my first significant April 18th, it's the 14th anniversary of the April 18th on which I completed my Abramelin retreat. For a while, I was racking up cool April 18th occurrences and it was nice that it was my significant day for life events. 

April 18th is of course, using American date writing, 4/18. 418 is a significant Thelemic number and one you'll see in the URL for my blog and webpage…which is branded much more Thelemically than I have ever actually been. 

My first significant 4/18 that I can easily recall was 2006; I had concluded a week I spent attempting to starve myself to death. 

The confluence of things which led me to “Choose Life” was bizarre, but kind of interesting. I was going through a particularly destructive major depressive episode. At this time I was in a fairly intense Straight Edger mode when it came to intoxicants, pills, even medication. I also felt like actively choosing to do anything to myself was immoral. But I remembered a Roman aristocrat who determined the noble response to an unjust emperor on the throne was to starve himself to death. That way he wasn’t killing himself, so he reasoned, but his death would deprive the emperor of his complicity or assistance. 

So, I stopped eating. I was working my first full time job. I figured I had to keep up appearances, so I bought a small container of orange juice at the start of each work day and drank that. Otherwise I might have had a little water here and there and that was it. 

I told one friend, thinking he was unlikely to do anything to stop me. He, in turn, told another friend who threatened to contact my family but backed off when I lied and said I would eat. I was fairly delusional, and the fact that the one friend I told didn’t seem to care, despite being my best friend at the time, convinced me my course of action was right. Sometime later, I looked back at our online conversations and realized he was consistently showing he cared and I was just being horrible to him because my interpretation of things was completely off. 

You might wonder how this fits my blog which usually deals with magic or related and adjacent spiritual topics. There are a handful of good reasons for me to talk about this, but the topical ones have to do with the process by which I chose life. 

There was a confluence of solarity, Evangelion, and Trigun which triggered a weird Holy Guardian Angel experience. It had been awhile at this point since I had written my Dominus Liminis paper, and completed those grade tasks but I hadn’t moved on to working on 5=6. This led to the slow build in that direction. 

The solarity part. For 6 days, 6 being the number of the sun, all I consumed was orange juice. Oranges, and orange juice were big solar symbols for me. At the time I routinely made libations of orange juice for Apollo and would consecrate orange juice to him to drink for solar blessings and connection. I wasn’t doing that that week, but the solar nature was there even if I wasn’t ritually awakening it. The view I often expressed at the time was “orange juice is just bottled sunlight.” 

So, despite my inner darkness, in the “you are what you eat” sense, I was clearing myself out and vibing the sun in an extreme, although unhealthy, way. 

As I was spiraling into a more and more broken mental state and gluing myself together enough to look functional with liquid sunlight, I was watching Evangelion and Trigun for the first time. They were airing back to back on Cartoon Network late at night and I'd been watching them for a few weeks. 

For those unfamiliar, Evangelion incorporates a lot of Western Occult imagery. The creator of the show was very hands on with specific odd word choices for the English translations because he wanted particular things conveyed. He has said several times that the occult imagery is just aesthetic and not something that had meaning or to which he had a connection. 

In later variants of the story, that description is true. The occult symbolism is toned down and seems decorative. In the original, it is saturating the show and is often subtle. The entire structure of the conflict ties back to it and in the feature length video content made as an alternate ending there are more obscure occult references and kind of a sexual alchemy theme. It’s pretty obvious it’s planned out and intentional in the original. Even if it weren’t, it was so saturated that it had an effect watching it, especially in the state I was in. 

A friend reached out recently and talked about having watched Evangelion and realizing it’s about processes of psychological healing and dealing with internal problems. The creator of the series has also said that he made it for that purpose; it was a form of processing his own mental health and emotional issues and finding catharsis. 

So the show is a little loaded. The final episodes are these intensely abstract and wonderful pieces of television…that lots of people miss the beauty of and hate. 

They were definitely the kind of avant garde mind fuck capable of helping to push my breaking brain over a tipping point into a mystical state. 

 

A clip from towards the end of the Evangelion series. 

 

 

One of my favorite clips from late in the Evangelion series 

At the same time that I was watching Shinji liberate himself from the trauma of being human and abstractly exploring the possibility of formless unity with all life, or defined individual existence allowing connection through the apparently un-unified state of individuation, I was also watching Trigun. 

Trigun is a space western. As I was watching it, the friend that pointed me to it told me I would identify with one character who he saw as having a lot in common with me. That character was Nicholas D. Wolfwood, a gun slinging preacher who seemed callus and like a conman, but who was actually good at heart and motivated by caring for orphans. Around the time Shinji was experiencing a complete abstractification of reality in Evangelion, I reached the end of Nicholas D. Wolfwood’s story in Trigun. 

As Wolfwood’s arc wraps up, we discover he was secretly part of the group of bad guys who had been revealed part way through the series. While Wolfwood was working for them because he had been raised in an orphanage run by one of the bad guys, he earnestly was working to protect the orphans and the orphanage and did not want to betray the other heroes. In the end, he sacrifices himself to save the children and his friends. As he bleeds out, he leans on the giant cross he always carried (which was full of guns, and was, itself, a large gun). The shot pulls out and shows his shadow in the light streaming in through the windows of the church in which he was dying. As Wolfwood questions himself and his life and his relationship with his friends, he dies, with his shadow forming an image of the crucifixion. 

The commentary Wolfwood makes about human suffering, saving others, and the possibility of finding ways to do better and be better are all strong and poignant. They also added to the overall head spinning experience of it all. 

Starving yourself and watching cartoons probably doesn't seem like a magical method. But, there is no reason it shouldn't. Fasting, denying oneself, creating extreme physical states through sleep deprivation, pain, drugs, exertion, these are all ways altered states of consciousness are obtained in various systems. Surrounding ourselves in imagery and stories which bring us into the space of the spirits, virtues, and ideals of those stories are also important methods. 

While I am not a fan of bringing the characters, words, methods, and trappings of fiction into magical work - excepting in a few very special cases - I have always thought finding good fiction that gets the engine running and inspires us towards the energy and excitement of magic is important. Similarly, using modern stories that can put us in certain mental spaces, or which trigger symbols and processes for us which lead us to contact with deeper elements of existence, including spiritual beings and realities, is an historical mode of spiritual work. Confining it to old stories is a sort of ahistorical fetishism. There has always been a fetishism of the old in magic and spirituality, even in the ancient world, but that didn't mean new stories that put people in touch with old things weren't used. 

I was certainly not intentionally doing any of that back in April 2006. I wasn't intentionally doing much of anything then and had no future plans to. I was coasting toward oblivion, but, that coasting was also part of what put me in the middle of all of these influences that hit together like the birth of a whirlwind. 

Suddenly, I felt the touch of my Angel deeply and strongly. Prior to this, I often did other work to connect with my Angel. I understood, and had understood for several years at that point, that the relationship with your Angel isn't limited to working Abramelin. It should be there from the beginning when working magical systems connected to that modality. Even if it's in the background, and just part of the currents of force you're touching, you should be aware of that whether you directly perceive it or not. As you progress, the potential for that perception, and for more direct and intentional interaction occurs. That eventually helps lead to the process of achieving Knowledge and Conversation. 

So, interaction with my Angel wasn't new, but the kind of flooding overwhelming perception of it was something I had only felt once before, which until that point I had not realized was communication with the Angel. This was the first time I felt my Angel directly teaching me in a fundamentally moving and transformative way, and a way which was still only a fraction of the experience at the end of the retreat. I had clear communication before, but this was like being pulled into a room and being given a class which was taught in part by emotional resonance and deep internal feelings of direction, connection and purpose. 

Being me, I processed what I was taught by writing an essay. When I was done, I was confused. I remember turning over and over in my head the thought “I guess I just die now? That seems like a waste now that I understand this, it also seems like it flies in the face of this, but it's what I'm set on doing, so what do I do?” I'm not good at change, so I guess I couldn't just accept changing my plans despite having a divine messenger explain the spiritual mechanics of mystical experience and connectivity to me. 

I started flipping coins. Dozens of coin tosses all consistently coming up with “don't eat, just die.” The level of consistency was eerie. It was also even more unnerving because I felt like maybe I was opening up to giving up the plan, and wanting to accept the new view of the world, but it felt like I was being told in no uncertain terms not to change, not to choose life. It was frightening to feel like I was divining repeatedly with unusual consistency and existence itself was telling me “nope, don't exist.” 

Then, I heard a cash register. It was the notification sound for when my friend, the only one who knew what was going on, would sign on. Suddenly, all the coin tosses and whatever other methods I started trying were giving consistently positive answers. I decided I'd leave it up to my friend. He was an engineering grad student who frequently chose to isolate and work on projects - whether for school or fun - rather than see people. It felt like there was a fair chance he'd say no. He didn't. In fact, he cried later that night because he was relieved. 

So, one reason for talking about this is the above discussion about how stories, and unlikely symbols and sources can help lead us places. There's also some utility in thinking about how when we push our bodies it can open us to stuff…but even with that being true, we should do it in responsible and well guided ways. My above story is not such an example. There is also an element of pointing out how you should probably watch Evangelion if you haven't, and less for mystical purposes and more for fun, maybe also Trigun. 

There are more important topics to consider though. One of them is the relationship between inner struggles and spiritual experience. 

Our society has a really stupid insistence that we should be able to see certain forms of success if people's spirituality or religion or magic are worthwhile. Ironically, people want to judge spiritual engagement based on whether or not folks have won the prosperity gospel contest…even though those same judges typically hate prosperity gospel folks. 

There is something to looking at a religion or spiritual teaching and determining that its message is wrong for you and how you want to live your life. There might also be something to looking at leaders in a group and seeing that they embody being people who are devoid of the message they preach, or they are devoid of the virtues you'd want. A leader or teacher doesn't have to be perfect, but the struggle should be between what you'd ideally hope to get from what they do, and the normal issues of life. If they're just a bad person…maybe something is up. 

Other factors don't work as well. Material factors, having their life together in the way other people decide is important, or having perfect mental health, or having processed all trauma…these are things I've seen people say are necessary. They're also things that just aren't realistic for a lot of reasons in many scenarios. 

Beyond that, they're not the characteristics which any historical prophets, faith leaders, or magicians epitomize. 

There is an importance in recognizing it's OK to not have everything together. It's also important that our molds and models of success have to be our own and they have to be built on who we are. What do we want? What interests us? Where do we want to put our attention? What are our skills? What are our capabilities, strengths and weaknesses? We have to look at who we are, who we want to be, and how the various elements of our lives are intended to shape us and serve those goals and desires and build a self image and a model of success for ourselves based on ourselves. That does include looking at what is safe and functioning, but that still leaves a pretty huge range and acceptable gradations. 

Someone contacted me once because they were unsure they could pursue magic due to mental health issues. It's important to consider this. There are some issues which can be really dangerous to mix with magic, but maybe not impossible if guidance in magic, and treatment for the issue are both present. There are others where it's fully possible to engage magic with similar risks that anyone who engages it faces. Then there are those that could be exacerbated by certain types of magic or mysticism and so it's a matter of informed planning, self awareness and support networks. 

Being open about and talking about those factors and considerations is important too, especially in a world where people might feel a calling but have been told, led to believe, or have just convinced themselves they have to sit on the sidelines and miss out because they have struggles. Being open can let people know that saying “fuck it” and diving in might not be the best answer for them, but it might also let them know that a strategized approach can be open for them. 

Another reason to talk about this story vis a vis the relationship between magic and mental health is considering how despite emotional darkness, we can still find spiritual light and development. Sometimes everything seems bleak. Sometimes we can't see hope, we can't see options. Sometimes we spiral out so much that we can't see ourselves or the reality of the hands reaching out to help us. 

Magic is not always, and usually won't be a solution for that. I'm mostly not in favor of magic as an alternative to actual mental health care. I don't care whether people are talking about shadow work, or doing spells to heal and fix their emotions, those things can be questionable approaches, with the right context and support they could be positive means of assisting with care and progressing through struggles, they can also be very dangerous when taken as alternatives in lieu of other needed care. 

That doesn't mean magic isn't there and won't provide help in times where we struggle. Working with the Olympic Spirits can do a lot to harmonize things and pull things together and create positive currents in our lives when we are suffering through difficulties. Turning to one's ancestors can be deeply comforting and cathartic. A spirit once expressed to me through one of her priests that I could come unburden to her when it wasn't appropriate to go to a person, and I've had times where I was able to really unload and heal while standing at the edge of the water talking with Her. There are ways magic can be there for us and help us even if it shouldn't be what we turn to as a cure or a band aid. 

There are also ways the depths of our spirit, our gods, our spirits, and our guides can spontaneously reach in deeply and inspire us even when we seem lost in darkness. Sometimes we just need to have the tools to listen and be aware that that influence is real and has value. It isn't necessarily what we should be looking for or waiting for. If it doesn't happen we shouldn't question why it isn't happening. But knowing people experience that and it isn't just a trick or own voice can be helpful. 

It might also be helpful for people to realize that sometimes we need to step back. A concept that comes up in studying the history of mystics is the tendency to experience intense spiritual states intermixed with intense depression. For one, it may be good for people to know that depression and similar issues aren't a sign they are failing as a mystic or spiritual person. It's helpful to know this is a common theme in history. More importantly, it can be helpful to recognize that part of that dichotomy is often understood as a response to the inspiration and joy of mystical awareness. When one sees the connectivity of the world, and the possibilities for goodness, it can be incredibly painful to see them not realized in the world. It can feel even worse when that mystical state drives a deeper sense of compassion for the human collective as they suffer through the effects of less enlightened world. There can also be a sense of loss, or a sense of being cut off when one returns to mundane experience and the drudgery of life after being deeply in the throws of heavenly awareness. 

It's important to remember that those pitfalls exist and have plagued deeply mystical and deeply spiritual people forever. It doesn't mean you're weak or messed up if you experience that. If you're someone prone to those kinds of swings, it can be important to know certain types of mysticism can trigger them or exacerbate them. You might have to be more careful or mindful with pursuits that are more expressly on the mystical union or enlightenment side of things. You may need to recognize when to take a break, settle yourself, and find ways to find joy in grounded pursuits for a while so it's not all heaven versus earth. 

There are lots of doors we can open by talking about mental health experiences and how they can relate to esoteric, magical, mystical, occult and spiritual elements of our lives. So for any of those reasons, hopefully it was worth sharing this story. 

More importantly than any of them, talking about stuff like this is important because it reminds people it's OK to be open. It's OK to have vulnerabilities and struggles. It's OK to be honest and open and frank with people about them. A lot of these struggles do their awful work by making us feel like we have to be separated and like we're alone. Remembering that other people, sometimes people who may have done things you think are cool, might also struggle with these things, can be comforting. That comfort only exists if we are open and share who we are. Stigmatization only goes away when we're open and share who we are. I don't talk about these elements of myself often, but I've come to realize that it can be good to open up sometimes, when it seems like a good moment. It struck me this morning as I was failing to sleep that maybe this was a good moment. 

At the very least, it is an opportunity for me to recommend that you Choose Life. There is a whole living and magical world out there. Hopefully, it has reasons for feeling wonder, rejecting shame, and finding hope. They might just not be immediately visible, but, the hidden arts help us find those not so immediate things. 

What’s All That Blood??!!?

 

When I was in high school, a friend took a copy of “Magic Power of Witchcraft” by the Frosts from his grandmother’s house and gave it to me because he knew I was into magic. He was not, and in fact, we’re still Facebook friends and he is now raising a very conservative Catholic family. The book was mostly an advertisement. One chapter explained a sex magic ritual for invoking the forces of Mars. It talked about squeezing blood out of meat onto a woman’s bare breast and other bizarre salacious things. My friends and I used to stand out in the courtyard of our somewhat posh Catholic prep school and read that chapter out loud to each other amongst a twitter of adolescent boy giggling. I still remember one guy who insisted he wanted us to read it every afternoon because he thought it was funny, despite the evidence he enjoyed it for another reason. It was hysterical, good fun while ridiculing a goofy description of blood magic. 

Recent discussions of blood have been way less fun. 

I recently taught a class on witchblood. I presented it at two different conferences. It’s a subject that is important to me and that I’ve talked about frequently over the years. As there was interest in the classes, I shared the audio from them for free online once I wasn’t set to present it anywhere else. 

A lot of response has been fairly positive. There have been a few negative responses that were quite visible. There were some more responses in support. This blew up into lots of posts about how everyone was discussing the subject…as happens on Facebook and other social media. 

I have felt some of the negative response has been unfair. There is a possibility that some things were questions with earnest intentions and seemed more intense than intended because of the hubbub. It’s also possible I may have interpreted some people as more confrontational than they were because of it, and if I have, I apologize. 

A very close friend and frequent co-collaborator that I’ve known offline for about 20 years pointed out that she doesn’t know what I mean exactly by “witchblood,” and so it might help if I define it. If she is unsure of my meaning, it’s fair others might not be. A couple other people have similarly suggested a simple definition post. 

So, here we are. My goal here isn’t to further stir up controversy. The controversy has been neither fun nor helpful. I’m also not using this to address an individual who has been intentionally antagonistic. This is meant in good faith to clear up the basic idea’s meaning and a couple other points of confusion for folks who might really just be scratching their head and unsure if it’s safe to ask an honest question…or folks who thought they were but were interpreted otherwise. 

I plan to address…

1. What is witchblood?

2. Is this about physical blood, or genetics or an idea about exclusivity or racial purity?

3. Is this just a way for some people to sound special? Am I just talking about this so I sound special?

4. Why should we even talk about this?

Point 1: Witchblood

Witchblood is a word typically used to describe the nature and power that makes a witch a witch in more traditional or historical modalities of witchcraft. The term is likely contemporary but the ideas behind it aren't new. 

Often it is used in the context of families in which certain affinities, spiritual gifts, and connections with spirits are frequently present. 

The term is not exclusive to families in which such things are inherited. It is also used in some tradcraft contexts to refer to the power that is birthed in and changes a person into a witch through initiation or transmission. Sometimes it is also used to refer to it when someone seems to develop it spontaneously or through experiences. 

Witchpower and witchfire are similar terms. Witchblood was the term I knew when growing up, and as a young adult when I met people with similar experiences they also used this term. I use it largely because it is the one most familiar to me. 

Some people dislike the term but acknowledge that gifts like the sight and connections with spirits may be in born, might pass through families, or might be acquired through dramatic and deeply transforming experiences. They contend that those capabilities or features don't make someone a witch, because you choose to be a witch and you learn the skills or religious beliefs and practices that make you a witch. 

This contention is the newer view. Even through the 1970s, decades into the advent of NeoPagan witchcraft, the common perception and the folklore perception was that having the sight, or consortium with spirits, de facto made you a witch. Prior to the 1920s, witch was never a term one elected for themselves. The idea that possessing these traits was what denoted someone as a witch was the traditionally held view and still influences many traditional concepts of witchcraft. 

This does not invalidate newer concepts of witch or witchcraft. Both can have value and meaning. This also isn't an assertion that this is the only way people can have or do magic. There have always been many types of magic and many types of magician. 

So, when I talk about witchblood and promote the concept, what exactly am I asserting?

The core of my argument is that the historical and folklore conception of the witch is based on real components. While these descriptions need some filtering due to sensationalism and propaganda, we can still look globally at trends and determine ways of understanding the witch as it occurs throughout the world. 

By understanding the witch through an historical lens, we can understand and explore experiences people still have today. This can also create modes for understanding how to approach and pursue witchcraft. 

Specifics of my view have evolved over time as I have continued research. Some core elements I am currently exploring and discussing include:

The witch is a particular subset of magician. Magic is diverse, not just in details of practice but in terms of forms of agency, the ways it works, and the ways in which we engage it. Those elements associated with the witch are one of several ways of experiencing magic. 

Witches are defined by their nature and power as a witch rather than a particular tradition of practice, their practices can be similar to other magicians outwardly, elements of the witch, their agency, and how they engage magical power and practice define witchcraft. 

The power possessed by the witch is innate and intrinsic. It is part of the nature of the witch and can not be removed from the witch. 

The power possessed by the witch can be acquired in several ways which include:

1. Being born so that power or connections with spirits are inherited and occur naturally

2. Being born under particular circumstances or times which imbue power

3. Experiencing life events that connect the individual with power and the spirit world in an intrinsic way

4. Being changed by a spirit through intimate exposure to that spirit’s power

5. Being changed by a spirit through empowerment, or being rebuilt spiritually

6. Being changed by consuming or grafting spirit elements that fundamentally change you

While this includes the idea that people can be born with witchcraft either through familial inheritance or circumstances irrespective of family context, it also includes several options not related to birth by which this can be acquired. These could be sought out by an individual, and some could be conferred as part of initiation or adoption.  

Point 2: Blood and Genetics

For the sake of clarity, to begin I will state flatly that witchblood is not about concepts of blood purity, the passing of traits through biological means of inheritance, any sort of racist or racialist concept, or similar problematic beliefs. 

I do not believe there is any reason to think that physical genetics have any relevance to this concept. I do not think that we have a full explanation of the mechanism for this, or most magical concepts. I believe it is likely that various mechanisms can exist which create this same result. 

I believe this is one amongst many ways to engage magic and is not the only way. I also believe this mode is not specifically a doorway to dangerous ideologies since it includes several ways in which people can obtain this nature without relation to birth. Concepts of power being tied to birth are not exclusively concepts related to familial inheritance. It is neither tied to an exclusionary assertion nor to assertions about national, tribal, ethnic, or racial identities. 

A handful of people are concerned about the use of the term blood. Some have noted that my explanations seem fine but the choice to use the word blood is concerning. Personally, I think the content is more important than the term, and those with an ability to engage and understand the concept and the details of its presentation should be able to engage it, and even express concern over word choice in responsible, civil, and reasoned ways. An inability to do that reflects more of an issue with those individuals than the term or the concept. 

As noted above, the word was chosen primarily because it is the term I’m used to. The choice was not a particularly intentional choice and was innocent in nature. 

There are reasons I do like this term, in addition to familiarity. 

It would be dishonest to say that blood does not apply familial connections. It does. In my case, and the cases of several people I know, family context is part of their experience. There is also a wide community that uses this term for whom the implication of family is important because it describes the nature of the relationship described in the initiatic lineages through which they obtained and through which they pass witchfire. It is also my view that most ways of obtaining this also have the potential to continue to pass this along family lines. 

The utility of the term is not limited to the implication of family. It also describes the intrinsic and permanent quality of the concept more than a word like witchfire. Witchblood indicates the visceral quality. Many writers would say it expresses the “embodied” nature of witchcraft and how the body specifically exists in an embodied context. Embodied also often has links to political discourse and performance art that are less desirable for me, and so I would use “visceral” to describe the idea that this is a core, personal, intimate, organic experience tied to our bodies and our physical experience of life. I wouldn’t be bothered by someone using embodied to express the same idea. 

Blood also has clear links to the concept of life force. Bone is a good physical material for binding spirits to physical locations and structures. Blood can have similar properties for transferring, containing, applying, and linking to spirits and spiritual power. Blood calls to mind that there is a link between spirit presence, and spiritual power with our bodies because of the occult faculties of blood. Bone has a similar potential and could easily result in expressions like “he’s a witch in his bones,” but “witchbones,” feels like an odder turn of phrase. 

I am intimately aware of the types of problems racist and blood purity rhetoric can lead to. As a biracial person, I am very aware that we are frequently seen as worse than others within the ideologies of blood purity rhetorics. As a person of color I have literally snuck away from an event and fled because people showed up in hoods claiming to be from the KKK.  

In terms of Pagan, occult, and cultural identity contexts, I have avoided going to Heathen events I was interested in because I was concerned I wouldn't be welcome. I have been invited to Heathen events and then been told maybe it wouldn't be a good idea since the group was Volkish. I've been warned not to go back to a Heathen group I previously visited because they've become Volkish. I've had people suggest I've been passed over for leadership roles in occult groups, and promotions at work because of my skin color. I've had white family members tell me to drive straight home and not stop anywhere til I was out of their town because my skin made me unsafe there. I’ve had non-family members question my presence at family events. I’ve felt uncomfortable at cultural festivals celebrating elements of European heritage I possess - and with which I was actively very engaged - because I was worried people would look at me and think I shouldn’t be there. I’ve had the leader of a magical group I was in laugh at me when I mentioned European heritage.

I have significant more experience with these issues on a personal level than those who are dismissing my position as Harry Potter level thinking and describing it as blood purity rhetoric. 

Talking about witchblood is dramatically less Volkish than people who say “Only black people can do Hoodoo.” It’s more realistic than NeoPagans doing Golden Dawn derived practices and claiming they’re living the path of their ancestors. 

There are lots of good ways we can talk about heritage, inheritance, talent, connecting with ancestors, and drawing from our past. We can discuss those things with an openness to self-determination and exploration. It’s also possible to drift into AFA style territory and talk about how “we thank our white gods, for our white heritage which has provided us with our beautiful white children, hailsa!” It’s also clear that that isn’t what is going on here. 

Point 3: Well aren’t you special…

Above, I list six ways people can have witchblood - four of them are things people can engage in to acquire it. I have been fairly consistent in discussing it as something that can be acquired. That means it’s open to everyone. Things which are open to everyone aren’t exclusionary and they aren’t modes by which you can claim to be special. 

I’ve never seen anyone who seemed to legitimately have witchblood, whether by family inheritance, circumstance, experiences, or initiation, talk in anyway about how special they were because of it. There are a lot of circumstances where it can be a problem. It can create serious problems for people. Through most of history and in most cultures it isn’t an advantage. Even in contemporary NeoPagan and Occult communities, it might help you magically, but it doesn’t have any social currency. 

Suggesting, in response to me talking about it, that it’s just about being special, is frankly insulting. My bio doesn’t reference witchblood. I don’t lean into it to promote my books or classes. I am a very educated and accomplished magician because of my work and commitment and that should be obvious to most people who know me. I’m also accomplished in several other areas of life. Witchblood discussion tends to result in pushback, not praise. I have no reason to need to talk about witchblood to try to look special, nor do most other people I know who have it. 

Point 4: Why talk about this?

The most absolutely daft example of this question has been someone essentially raising the question “The Greek Magical Papyri aren’t based on witchblood, so why do we even need to discuss it?” There are lots of things lots of sources don’t talk about which are useful to explore in the right context. Most thinking people know that. 

The questions of what do we do with this? Or , is there a reason to explore this? Are fully valid questions though. It’s a topic most people aren’t familiar with so “what’s the point?” is a fair thing to wonder. 

There are three main reasons.

First, it’s part of my experience and so it’s interesting to me to explore. It’s also part of the experience of other people and so they may have interest in exploring it and understanding it more deeply. More importantly, it is helpful for people who have experiences with this and don’t understand it. As was mentioned on one thread, most people with knowledge of this subject or who have experience of it, or who come from traditions which incorporate it, avoid talking about it. A large part of this avoidance is because the reception to discussion of it is usually bad. That’s a problem that can only be overtaken by more openness. That openness can help enrich understanding across traditions and modalities. It can also provide comfort for people who have experiences related to this and don’t understand them. I have had multiple people at this point who felt helped by me talking about this because they felt odd, or they realized things about their own experiences that they hadn’t understood or contextualized before. Being a resource for that is meaningful, and while not everyone needs to be available as such a resource, having resources to make that understanding more common is important. 

Secondly, I believe exploring this can help us deepen how we discuss and understand witchcraft. These are modalities which can be pursued whether they’re things people have already or things people might want to pursue. More exploration of different peoples experiences, understandings, and how it plays out in different cultures, systems, and contexts will give us a deeper fuller picture. We can potentially learn more about different ways of engaging spirits and how power, agency, and authority work, and different ways of exploring how magic and spiritual power manifest within people. The more we understand these things the more we can explore how to use and improve them. 

Third, I don’t think there is a reason to suppress it if its true. That in and of itself is not a reason to explore it, but if its true and exploring that truth involves us expanding our worldview, then that can be useful. Framing this concept as one which is reasonable and comprehensible involves a relatively traditional mythopoetic worldview. That kind of worldview inherently looks at the world as alive, magical, and immanently active and present in a spiritual sense. It’s a deep counter to an overly materialistic worldview. I think that is part of the fear of it. It requires not just thinking of magic as something reasonable to do and explore as a mode of spirituality, but magic as a viscerally and meaningful real and present active element in the structure of ourselves and the worlds around us just as much as thinking, breathing, flesh, bone, water and dirt are. This apprehension of the world is something people are moving towards, but a lot of people still struggle to fully immerse themselves in that as a defining view of existence consistently. This idea confronts us by demanding we engage the world through that mythic lens.  

Anyway, hopefully that cleared things up some. Thanks for reading with an open mind. If you haven’t checked out the classes that have created on the stir, you can check them out here. Two versions are available for free.

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