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Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Legal Relief from the Highest of Thrones

About a year ago I posted about using Merkavah techniques of angel magic from the early part of the first millennium to solve a misunderstanding with a creditor, something which is relevant for a ton of people today.

Another thing that comes up frequently for people today is dealing with legal issues. So I figured now that the issue that caused me to use this method is well in the past, I would share it.

A few months prior to the creditor post I had run into some ridiculous moving violation nonsense. My attorney pointed out that the charges weren't even the correct charges and most of what the officer said in the instance wasn't correct. I had evidence with me when I was pulled over that the issue was resolved but the officer ignored it. Basically, I fell into a convergence of multiple administrative tangles that swelled up into a series of costly charges and penalties.

At first my attorney was confident that I had been wronged; he discounted my legal fees because of it and assured me how easy it was all going to be. Then a few months passed and we didn't meet again until a few weeks before the court date. At this new meeting he explained that he was handing me off to his partner, who was way less impressive. He needed new copies of some of my documentation, and the two of them started confusing and forgetting the various elements of the incident. They assured me that they knew everyone in the local legal system and would get everything dismissed...unless it was this one judge, but they hoped it wouldn't be her. All in all they felt like they were going to bungle it and I got nervous.

So...the obvious solution, was magic. Angel magic.

The Sefer HaRazim has a few pieces that describe dealing with magistrates and officials. I decided to work with the angels of silence who reside in the second heaven. They are said to exonerate you by commanding the silence of anyone who would speak against you.

HaRazim requires significant purification to approach the angels. You have to avoid all causes of impurity for three weeks. In a previous blog post I recommended this alternative:

Once you're clean enough for angels to not mistake you for a drop of semen, (the Hekhalot texts suggest that the angels like to refer to humans that way) you have to steal bread that was offered at an altar to an idol.

This is kind of a tough one. We don't live in a world with idols all over the place. If you happen to have a friend with idols he probably won't like you stealing offerings he has made to his gods. If you yourself are Pagan or work with spirits, your gods or spirits may not like you stealing offerings to give to angels. The idea has a sort of antinomian vibe when you consider that it was written in a time where memories of Pagan dominant cultures probably still influenced the work. The angels are subduing something that would otherwise be dominant over you, and so you subvert another possible force of domination. But to do this, you have to violate some boundaries. My solution was to offer a Mass to my Holy Guardian Angel and then take back the remaining host to use for the angels. This way I had bread offered up to some divine force, without having to insult that divine force.

Once you have the bread you say over it the names of the angels in reverse order seven times.

These angels are from the first step of the second heaven, they are angels who “stand in terror, cloaked in wrath, girded with dread, surrounded by trembling, their raiment like an image of fire, their faces like the appearance of lightning, and their mouths never cease to utter mighty words. Nevertheless, their voice is not heard, for their task is to silence, to frighten, and to terrify anyone who opposes the man who calls on them in purity.”

These angels are:


Once you've said the names of the angels say this:

“I ask from you, angels of silence, that in this place, you silence every mouth and every heart of the children of Adam and Eve who arise against me to say anything evil. Let their mouths utter good things about me and let me be exonerated in my lawsuit, do not permit any mouth to speak evil about me.”

Then sprinkle the ashes in a relevant place. I sprinkled them on steps outside the courthouse on my way in.

I went in, was there for about 45 minutes, and then was told I could go because the prosecutor decided not to prosecute my case.

So again, simple run down:
  1. Purify yourself
  2. Steal some idolatrous bread
  3. Burn the bread to ash
  4. Say the names of the angels from the first step of the second heaven in reverse order seven times
  5. Say the incantation
  6. Spread the ash in a relevant place (court house, city center)
  7. Be awesome as the angels exonerate you through their power to silence your accusers

Good luck!

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